What the FB characters are REALLY Thinking
by Darkest Midnights
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the Fruits Basket characters are really thinking? Read to find out. Rated T for censored swearing. Please read and review!
1. Tohru Honda, Yuki Sohma, Kyo Sohma

What the Fruits Basket characters are Really Thinking...

I don't own Fruits Basket.

Summary: Have you ever wondered what the Fruits Basket characters are really thinking? Well, read to find out! Enjoy!

Fruits Basket character(s) #1 - #3: Tohru Honda, Yuki Sohma, and Kyo Sohma!

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Tohru Honda:

**Thought 1: When Kagura is beating the heck out of Kyo  
**

Kagura punched, kicked, and shook Kyo. Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, Momiji, Kisa, Hiro, and Hatori were watching the scene. Tohru just stood there, not saying a word. Hatori was sitting at the table, Yuki was watching from the couch, Hiro and Kisa were just sitting on the floor near the TV, Shigure was sitting down mumbling about how people always ruin or completely destroy his house to ruins, and Momiji was sitting with Hatori since Hatori was watching him for the day. Kagura started to hit and shake Kyo harder. Tohru twitched, thinking:

_**'GET YOUR F!#!IN' HANDS OFF MY MAN B!#!#, OR I WILL F!#!IN' KILL YOU AND SEND YOU DOWN TO H!#!, YOU F!#!IN W!#!# !!'**_

**Thought 2: Random times where Yuki fangirls come...**

It was a long and violent fight, but Kyo, Yuki and Tohru managed to get to class the next day. Yuki and Kyo sat at their desks. Their fangirls ran up to their desks. Saki, Arisa, and Tohru looked at them from the end of the room. Arisa had a led pole in her hands. Saki just sat her desk. Tohru just sat at her desk, smiling. The fangirls were tearing the clothes off Yuki and Kyo, so to speak. Tohru looked at them with a smile, thinking:

**_'GET YOUR F!#!IN' HANDS OFF MY MAN KYO SOHMA B!#!#ES, OR I KNOCK THE S!#! OUT OF YOU F!#!IN FANGIRLS AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU F!#!IN DIE! I DON'T GIVE A D#!# WHAT YOU DO TO THE D#!# EMO KID YUKI!! NOW, GET YOUR F!#!IN' HANDS OFF MY MAN OR I WILL KNOCK THE S!#! OUT OF YOU!!'_**

**Thought 3: Early in the Morning when Shigure is talking to and Hatori...**

The next morning... Yuki, Tohru, and Kyo listened to Shigure bother Hatori over the phone. Shigure laughed as he talked.

"For the last time, hang up the phone or I will call the police and hold a restraining order on you." Hatori said.

"Oh, Ha'ri! Why are you so dull?" Shigure asked.

Tohru twitched, thinking:

**_'CAN SHIGURE JUST SHUT THE F!#!IN' H!&! UP BEFORE I GO OVER THERE AND F!&#IN' BREAK EVERY SINGLE BONE IN HIS BODY?! I MEAN HE WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THE LITTLEST THINGS! WHAT IS HIS FREAKIN' PROBLEM?! FOR THE LOVE OF AKITO FREAKIN' SOHMA, JUST LET HIM BE STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!!'  
_**

Yuki Sohma:

**Thought 1: When Ayame and Shigure are talking about him to Hatori...**

Ayame, Shigure, Hatori, Yuki, Tohru, Kyo, Hiro, and Kisa were at Shigure's house. Ayame and Shigure were talking to Hatori about Yuki. Hiro and Kisa were watching anime. Yuki glared at Ayame. Kyo glared at Yuki. And Tohru was smiling. Yuki continued to glare, thinking:

**_'Must resist urge to kill Ayame... Must resist urge to kill Ayame... Must resist urge to kill Ayame... Must resist urge to kill and put Ayame on fire... Must resist urge to kill Ayame... must resist trying to barbecue Ayame when he's in his snake form...'_**

**Thought 2: When his fangirls surround him...**

At the school, on Monday, Yuki was surrounded by his fangirls near his desk. He looked at them thinking, as they said 'I LOVE YOU, YUKI-KUN!' or 'MARRY ME, YUKI-KUN!!' he thought:

**_'Will they ever shut the h&!# up? Because they are starting to make me want to kill them.'_**

Kyo Sohma:

**Thought 1: In the morning, when Yuki is saying 'good morning' to Tohru...**

Yuki woke up, stretching as he came downstairs. He went into the kitchen. Tohru was making riceballs thinking:'Will Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo ever get their lazy aes up and do some work?'.

"Good morning, Tohru-san." Yuki greeted as he walked by Tohru.

"Oh, good morning." Tohru said.

Kyo was making himself a tuna riceball, thinking:

**_'I wonder what a rat-flavored riceball would taste like. Maybe I should wait until that d& rat transforms. And then I will kill him, cook him, put him in rice and eat him so he can't have Tohru...'_**

**Thought 2: At school where his fangirls surround him...**

Kyo was sitting next to the window as his fangirls surrounded him. He saw that Tohru was sitting at the other side of the room with her friends. Arisa still had the lead pole in her hands. Saki was sitting down, not caring about anything. Tohru was smiling at him. Kyo looked at all the fangirls thinking:

**_'O.o... How the h!!& am I going to get out of this?! The d!&! rat must have it easier than this! This is really pissing me off! If these fangirls don't get away from me, I will get a gun and kill every one of them, the Sohma family, and everyone in the world except me and Tohru. Then, I will have only Tohru once and for all!!'_**

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Next is Hatori, Shigure, and Ayame! Please review!


	2. Hatori Sohma, Ayame Sohma, Shigure Sohma

What the FB characters are REALLY Thinking

I don't own Fruits Basket.

Here's Ayame's, Hatori's and Shigure's chapter! Enjoy!

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Hatori Sohma:

Hatori's thoughts: When with Ayame and Shigure...

"Oh Hatori, you must try this one on! I made it myself!" Ayame said, giving Hatori a gangster outfit.

"Oh, Ha'ri! I got a terrible injury! See?! I have a splinter on my finger! Don't you think this is more horrifying than being eatten by sharks?" Shigure whined, showing him the finger with a tiny little splinter. Hatori closed his eyes and thought:

**_"Must... stay calm... Must... go to happy- OH, FOR THE NAME OF AKITO FREAKIN' SOHMA! JUST _****_FREAKIN'_****_ KILL ME BEFORE I KILL THOSE MOTHER-F(beep)ERS!!"_**

Hatori's thoughts #2: When Kyo and Yuki were fighting when Tohru was sick...

Hatori looked over at Kyo and Yuki, who was doing indentical poses. Hatori stared blankly for a second and thought:

**"What the (beep)? Are they fighting over the TV remote again?"**Kyo paused thinking:

**"I deserve the remote control-thingy more than that (beep)ed-up rat."**Yuki paused thinking:

**"I deserve the almighty remote-control-thingy more than that stupid cat."**

Ayame Sohma:

Ayame's thoughts: When he's around Yuki...

Yuki glared at Ayame as Ayame smiled like an idiot. Ayame looked at his brother and licked his lips, thinking:

**"Hm... Yuki sure looks tasty... I wonder how rat stew taste like?"**

Ayame's thoughts #2: When he's with Hatori...

Hatori came to pick Ayame up from Shigures house. Hatori tried opening the door, but it was locked.

"COME ON!! OPEN UP YOU (Beep)ING DOOR!!" Hatori shouted at the top of his lungs.

Luckly, no-one was around to hear Hatori swear except for the whole Sohma family. Ayame ran up to the door, opened it, and looked at Hatori, licking his lips as he thought:

**"I wonder how seahorse stew taste like... Heh heh..."**

Shigure Sohma:

Shigure's thoughts: At Tohru, Yuki, and most of the gang's high school...

Shigure looked at all the high school girls and smiled like a pervert as he thought:

**"High school girls, high school girls! How I love these pretty high school girls! I love them so much I could just (beep) them!"**

Yuki and Kyo punched Shigure.

"Even in his thoughts he's a pervert." Kyo and Yuki said.

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Please review! Next is Kisa, Hiro and Akito are next!


	3. Hiro Sohma, Kisa Sohma, Akito Sohma

What the Fruits Basket Characters are REALLY THINKING...

I don't own anything.

:) New chappie!

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Hiro's thoughts:

Thought #1: Anytime possible...

Hiro was sitting on the couch looking at anime as Kisa was sleeping on his lap, when he thought:

_"I'm a Barbie Boy, play around with my toy! Life in not much tragic, it's like magic! You can brush my hair, and strip me anywhere!!" _

Thought #2: Yaoi time! Sorta...

Hiro was walking to pick up Kisa from school. _'I'm a sexy boy, I feed off your joy...' _Hiro thought. A man walks in front of him and pushes him into an empty house. Hiro looked up at the man... it was Hatori.

"Hatori? What do you want?" Hiro asked, before Hatori pulled him into a french kiss.

Hatori smiled.

"Hatori? What the hell are you-" Hiro asked again, before Hatori kissed him, taking off Hiro's shirt.

Hiro blushed and asked, stunned:

"HATORI?!"

"It will all be over soon, Hiro-san..." Hatori said.

"I know I'm sexy, but I'm not going to have sex with y-" Hiro said.

Kisa looked inside the window and ran inside.

"Hatori! Stop having sex with my man you son of a bitch!!!!" Kisa shouted, punching Hatori in the 'apples'.

Kisa's thoughts:

Thought #1: OMAS...

Kisa laid on the couch on Hiro's lap, thinking: _'Should I kill the Sohmas and say they were torn to shreds and eatten by bears or kill them and say they were killed by a bunch of hippies? Ah, to hell with everything...'_

Thought #2: WTFAS?!! Kisa has Fruits Basket Voodoo dolls?!

Kisa was in her room, playing with her voodoo dolls of the Sohma family. She stuck a needle into Hatori's apples and laughed as she heard his scream of pain.

_"That's for stealing my man...'_ Kisa thought.

Then she got a Kyo and Tohru voodoo doll out and threw Kyo at a wall and stuck needles into every part of Tohru.

_'That is total revenge...'_ Kisa continued in her thoughts.

She then pulled out a Akito Voodoo doll and threw it at a sleeping, rabid raccoon outside. Akito screamed and cried:

"Get this raccoon off me!!"

Akito's thoughts:

Thought #1: In the car with Hatori:

Akito sat in the back seat of the car, bored. She kicked Hatori's seat as he drove.

"Are we there yet?" Akito asked.

"No." Hatori replied.

"Are we there yet?" Akito asked.

"No." Hatori replied.

"Are we there yet?" Akito asked.

"No." Hatori replied.

This kept on for at least twelve minutes. Akito kicked his seat again. Hatori looked back.

"What?" Hatori asked.

_'Does this square ever get annoyed? _

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Ok. That's all for this chapter! Please review! Sorry if I scarred you for life! XD I almost regretted writing this chapter since it scarred me so much. Anyways... please review!


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